"Only in Thailand"

“Only in Thailand” is a phrase that I’ve been hearing a lot of since I arrived. Friends who have lived here for almost ten years have told me that they will go to McDonald’s and be told that there is no more beef for the hamburgers or that there are no buns left for the KFC chicken sandwiches. Others have told me that when they’ve ordered groceries online, they almost always do not get everything they’ve asked for. Instead of receiving sour cream, they get cottage cheese because it looks the same. The phrase I heard often in South Korea, “Same, same” is also used here, much to my chagrin.

Therefore, the general rule that I’ve been learning is: if you tell a Thai that you need three things done, they will do one and not because they didn’t understand but because they may not be able to do the other two things and since they are okay with it, so should the receiving party. I laughed each time I heard these stories of woe and then showed an appropriate level of genuine sympathy before secretly wondering exactly how true this concept really was.

It wasn’t until after I moved into my condo a week ago that I learned this lesson myself.

I moved into my condo with my American way of thinking that everything would function as it should and that life would be better than it had been when I lived in a sewage-smelling studio on the outskirts of the city.

The first night there however, a friend who had helped me move entered my bathroom and discovered three cockroaches. One was next to the toilet, another was in the shower and the third was on the door. I was surprisingly freaked out and screamed like a little girl. For those who know me, this is very uncharacteristic of my personality. I don’t get squeamish around bugs and I certainly do not have any phobia that I know of regarding insects. Just the same, these cockroaches were between two and three and half inches long and were flying. I was adequately grossed out; so much so that my friend had to go back and forth to the hallway to bring in the remainder of my bags. Then I handed him my shoe and he knocked each one out in one quick tap and flushed them down the toilet. Later that night, I washed my shoe like nothing had happened.

Before hopping up into the shower – my tub is twelve inches off the ground due to the raised plumbing – I checked into every nook and cranny. I turned on the water and then realized that the showerhead was built into the wall at an angle that made it impossible to get under the water without crouching down. Therefore, I took the shower nozzle off the wall and suddenly the water pressure disappeared. It turned out that the water pressure only worked when I kneeled in the tub but anything over three feet and the pressure disappeared, as did the water.

After a disappointing shower in my new condo, I went into the kitchen and decided to heat up the mini quiche I had picked up at the corner market. My microwave/oven was also broken. I ate the quiche, cold. Irritated, I flipped the light switch so I could get a better look at the dials and no light turned on. Great. No light in the kitchen without using the fluorescent lights, which means a super bright place. This is unfortunate, especially when I’m half asleep and only want a little light. Next, I opened the fridge and learned that the light was out. Finally, I decided to check all the lights, the TV and anything else that might not work. The light in my bedroom nearest my balcony is out and just this morning, the light in my right wardrobe flickered out.

I called my real estate agent the next day who admitted that my place had been vacant for quite some time and he therefore didn’t know how long things hadn’t worked. Prior to signing the contract he promised that he would help out with any issues regarding the condo but as he is constantly giving showings and is basically always busy, he suggested I contact the building manager, so that’s what I did. The manager however, recommended that I call the owner of the condo. Here in Thailand, individuals purchase apartments and condos and then rent them out and the tenant very often needs to deal directly with them. In my case however, the landlady only speaks Thai and I therefore needed the building manager’s help. In turn, I mentioned this bit of information to the manager, who asked for my permission to go into my condo to fix everything. I said, “Okay” and then promptly moved all my valuables to a safe.

When I came home a day later I was pleased to discover a new showerhead with great water pressure that can remain on the wall while I rinse my hair. The microwave has also been replaced with something that is much smaller, but it works. The lights however, have not. Instead, I found a note above a light switch pointing to my balcony. The manager had thought I meant the switch nearest my balcony was broken, not the ceiling light. However, with regards to the light in the fridge and above the sink, I have no idea what happened there.

Then last night I lost hot water and now only get varying degrees of cool in my tub. Ironically, I get scalding hot water in the kitchen no matter what the setting is. And I still have a cockroach problem, although it’s not as bad as it was before.

I wouldn’t have even mentioned this problem until I found myself sitting on the toilet one quiet morning, marveling at how duped I felt about moving into a place with appliances and lights that didn’t work. Just as I was working myself up into an agitated frenzy, I heard something skittering across the floor and I flew out of the bathroom. When I returned, I found nothing but decided then and there to cover any available hole or crevice with a material appropriate to that open space.

What I later discovered was a gaping hole on the side of the toilet next to the shower where the bugs were moving in and out of. I wouldn’t have even known had I not gotten comfortable in my surroundings and then spotted two large roaches hiding out next to my toilet. I sprayed them with orange-scented air freshner but they were too quick for me and disappeared into the hole.

Before they could reappear I ran into my kitchen, grabbed a bag and some electrical tape and taped up the hole. Three days later I found a large roach hiding out on my shower curtain. Damn those things move fast. I could hear it running up and down my curtain but I couldn’t get it to just drop to the ground. Then all of a sudden everything moved in slow motion. The roach spread it’s wings and without thinking, I held out my hands with the intention to slap them hands together as if I were crushing a fly before realizing what I would be crushing. At the last moment I grabbed some air freshner and sprayed moments before it landed in my hair. I screamed and started shaking my head. People in the next condo must have wondered what the heck was going on. I not only sprayed myself, but I had caused the cockroach to get tangled in my hair. A few seconds later, it was on the floor writhing around, the last moments of its’ life ebbing away. I picked it up by the leg and tossed it into the toilet bowl before hitting the flush button.

I’m contacting the building manager tomorrow about the lights, water and cockroach problem. I feel like some crazy American nut who can’t let sleeping dogs lie but at the same time I’m angry with myself for not having known to check every single light switch, appliance and the water before moving in.

To calm myself down and enjoy my early evening home, I treated myself to dinner at Au Bon Pain not far from my house. The seafood soup in the bread bowl appealed but when I ordered it they told me they were sold out of bread. Really? A shop that sells bread but has none? Only in Thailand.

Always Moving

I’ve been in transit since giving my notice in Everett, Massachusetts to my landlord, telling him that I was really moving to Thailand. He asked me three times to make sure this is what I really wanted and that I was really going to move. “Yes” I told him. From there, I moved in with a good friend who was kind enough to let me stay with her for two weeks. That was a lovely experience. After that, I moved home for one week and strangely enough it was a very long week and not in a bad way. I had built up Thailand in my mind for the past several weeks and was ready to be there already. In the week building to that move I felt as though my life was moving in slow motion. I was consolidating my life into seven storage boxes and trying to pack my clothes into two suitcases plus one mini carryon. I was also paying off bills and cleaning up my credit history with the intent of staying abroad for an extended period of time.

By the time I got to Thailand and had moved into my studio, I was glad to be there but horrified that my room smelled very much like the streets I walked through while exploring my new surroundings. There’s nothing more pungent than raw sewage mixed with humidity, people, animals and a thriving, flourishing city. This I discovered was the approximate smell of my studio when I turned on the air conditioning. Oddly enough, my bathroom smelled better, which worked to my benefit, as that was the best place to get an Internet connection. I would prop my laptop up on the closed toilet seat and squat on the floor as I checked email and Facebook. Still, this was not a life to live. I therefore began apartment hunting.

After finding a condo in a nice part of Bangkok, I decided to stay with friends so I wouldn’t have to pay an extra week for a place that made me gag.

With the help of a friend, I moved my three bags and laundry basket to their place in Petchaburi, next to the MRT (subway) and Airport Link. For one week, I slept on their oh-so-comfortable IKEA pull out sofa and went to work with my friend. This gave me an opportunity to learn the routes better, although I had to admit that I wasn’t as aware because I knew he knew where we were going. It’s like being the passenger in a car and not really paying attention because you know that the person who’s driving has it covered. It wasn’t until I moved into my new place that I really started learning my way around and screwing up in the process.

When the time came to move one final time, I packed my bags the night before so that when we left work and got back to the condo, we could load up a taxi and head on out. What I hadn’t anticipated was the overwhelmingly awful traffic that exists on Sukhumvit and Asoke. There’s no better way to describe it than an almalgamation of cars, trucks, buses, taxi’s, and motorbikes, all vying for a way down the street. Everyone is trying to get ahead but no one is moving. If we could have managed it, I would have suggested we take the subway, but it was just too cumbersome.

Therefore, once we loaded up the taxi and climbed in, we were underway. It wasn’t until we had pulled out of the condo’s roundabout that I noticed the meter was off. I mentioned it to my friend and the taxi driver began shouting and told us to get out of the taxi. He was hoping to make a profit on my move and had refused to turn on the meter. In turn, we unloaded the taxi and he sped off. We decided that the best way to get a taxi in this horrendous traffic was to move to the other side of the street, so with arms weighed down with luggage, we rolled the bags and carried the basket, across the crowded street. We weaved in between cars and managed to miss the speeding motorbikes that were also fighting for space. Once on the same side of the road that we needed to be on, we waved down taxi after taxi but to no avail. Once we mentioned Sukhumvit, no one wanted to pick us up. Stressing out that I was already over an hour late, I called my agent to apologize and he asked me how far away we were. I told him about the traffic and that without it, we were fifteen minutes but with it, it could be as much as an hour. He told me not to worry about it and I relaxed. After the sixth taxi however, I could feel myself starting to become desperate. After forty minutes of hailing taxis, one finally picked us up. We loaded up the taxi, climbed in and then didn’t move for twenty minutes.

Two hours later, we arrived at my condo. For someone who doesn’t like to keep others waiting, I felt awful for keeping my agent waiting for more than two hours. Although tired, he understood how terrible the traffic is in my (new) area and whisked me through the many steps of my leasing contract. After it was all said and done, he gave me the give and wished me a good night. At last, the moving was over, at least for this year.

Lay-o, Lay-o, Faster, Faster

I took the transit system yesterday for the first time. No one tells you how to get from Point A to Point B; they just tell you that it's easy. "Easy" is relative when you have no idea what you're doing. 

I had just looked at two apartments in Phrom Pong, and now needed to sign the paperwork. To accomplish this I had to get to the agent’s office in Thong Lo, about 10 minutes away with normal traffic. On Friday afternoon at 4pm in Bangkok, that might as well be 45 minutes. As my agent had an appointment at 4pm and was already late, he wanted to ensure that I got to the office okay and the fastest way to get there: motorbike taxi.

I had been warned to avoid this mode of transportation for fear of imminent death and now I was climbing on the back of one. I have to admit that the thrill of jetting through immovable traffic was as appealing as it was thrilling, but the reality of it was much scarier.

I’ve seen woman casually sitting side saddle while they text as well as men talking on their cell phones and two thoughts have gone through my head. One, “It mustn’t be as bad as people have been telling me” and, “Well they’re Thai, so they’re used to it.” The latter is true. You must also never tell the driver, “Lay-o, lay-o. Faster, faster,” unless you have a death wish. That is exactly what my real estate agent said as he smiled broadly and asked me if I was ready to go for a ride. Not wanting to appear like a wimp, I smiled and jumped on while I squelched my rising panic.

It is difficult to fully understand the game of chicken until you're in the opposing lane of traffic and your impending death is racing at you from the opposite direction until at the last minute, you swerve into stopped traffic and squeeze between cars. I suddenly wondered if my legs were too big and my shoulders too broad as we missed side view mirrors and bumpers by mere millimeters. Then we’d stop suddenly because the gap between a truck and a taxi would be too narrow to pass through. 

Also, telling the driver that this is my first time is not recommended. The bike immediately began jerking left and right as we wound our way through traffic. It’s like driving down the road and deciding to swerve left and right to see how quickly you can break the person sitting next to you.

My heart was in my stomach. Then the light would turn and we’d suddenly be taking a hard left as I would feel my body sliding off the seat. The only time I enjoyed myself was when we turned onto a no-traffic road and sped at top speed straight ahead but then I reminded myself that I wasn’t wearing a helmet and he was and the joy froze.

Jump forward fifteen minutes and I had met William, the very attractive British agent I had spoken to on the phone a few days prior, handed over the holding deposit and signed a temporary contract. The condo was mine. I would move in November 1^st. Now to figure out how to get to the closest metro station and less importantly, figure out what I was going to do for the five days between the end of my current contract and when I could move in and still have money left over for important things like food. I have three weeks to figure that out however, so I have pushed it aside for now.

My next step after leaving the agent’s office was to get back to a BTS (sky train) or MRT (subway) stop. After being refused a ride from a taxi driver who didn’t want to drive me anywhere, I briefly considered the idea of hopping on another motorbike taxi. When my heart sank into my stomach, I decided not to. 

I eventually caught a taxi and as soon as I recognized where I was, I hopped out, weaved through clogged traffic and made my way up the stairs to the sky train. Thank goodness I'm blessed with a good sense of direction and that I remember where things are after just one time. 

I kept an eye out for places to buy a ticket and when I saw people standing in lines, I walked up to the front and watched people purchase tickets. I then got in a line that moved quickly and looked for my stop, Asok, on the map. Seeing it, I pushed the button with the number 38 on it and the machine told me how much to pay. After putting in the coins, I took the ticket and saw that the system of going through the turnstiles was just like America. 

Once through, I looked on a map to make sure I was going the right way and walked up the stairs to the platform. A few minutes later, the train arrived and I got on and looked above the doorway at another map. One stop. Good.

After I got off the train, I followed the crowd to the stairs and then looked for signs for the MRT. What I forgot to do however was keep my ticket out, as I needed it to go back through the turnstiles in order to exit. Getting out of line was tricky as there were hoards of people but once I took my ticket out of my bag, I was able to exit. From there, I followed the signs to the MRT, crossed a road and re-entered the subway on the other side.

After a few escalators down I saw multiple lines and picked one before realizing that I didn’t have a subway card and had to get into another line to purchase one. I didn’t actually get a ticket however. I received a plastic coin the size of a quarter. Following the crowd, I did as they did and scanned the coin before going through the turnstile. I went down another flight of stairs and looked at the signs to see what side I needed to stand on. For good measure, I asked an attendant. One stop later I was exiting the sardine packed train with my nose pushed up to the wall of an ad for the university I work for, how ironic.

Less than five minutes later I was breathing normally and casually chatting with my friend who met me on the corner outside the station.

Food

As I sit Indian style on my bed, I’m enjoying the breeze as it gently blows through my windows and wafts across my bare shoulders. I have both my windows open on either side of my bed as well as my slider and have just realized that none of them have screens. How could I have missed that? There are no mosquitoes trying to get in and only the occasional fly that I swat with my hand as I continue typing. The air feels good.

Each day is getting progressively cooler as we enter the monsoon season. Although I still sweat profusely when I leave the house, I don’t have the overwhelming sense to peel my clothes off or enter a 7 Eleven just for the air conditioning. I do however, always feel thirsty and hungry and find myself drinking copious amounts of water and eating several small meals per day. It’s not for lack of trying because I love to snack. In fact, many of my family members and I could win competitions. It is that I just don’t like the snacks here in Asia.

The potato chips are oddly sweet with a hint of salt or sour cream and the pretzels are also sweet and the candy is sugary and you guessed it, sweet. The candy bars are the same however, but I don’t have a craving for chocolate today. I did however stock up on small Lindt bars and placed them in my freezer for that special time of month.

Instead, I have been gorging myself on fresh fruit. I picked up freshly sliced pineapple, durian, dragon fruit, Asian pears, grapes and a fruit I don’t know the name of in English. When I want something of substance I have a bowl of Special K with chocolate milk. I’d buy plain ordinary milk but I have not yet found a brand that I like. The process is different so many of the milks taste a little too fresh for me. That’s going to take some time. Aside from milk however, that’s about the only dairy I get. I don’t care for their sugary yogurt, and cheese, butter or sour cream. Surprisingly, cutting out most of my dairy hasn't been that difficult.

I am also hoping that my stomach adjusts to the smaller meals. I was never one for overeating but I am also not used to eating a continuous stream of spicy meals. In fact, I often just point and then try to pronounce it in Thai. When I eat the meals, the spice is often so strong that my nose begins to run, my tongue and lips start to tingle and I break out into a sweat. It was like cleaning out my sinuses with every bite until I finally had to stop because I couldn’t handle it anymore.

As for the desserts, pies and cakes, they are too fluffy, light and strangely tasteless for me, which is funny as so many other things are sweet. Cream as we know it in America is not cream in Asia unless purchased in an international store or restaurant. It’s cream-like but very often tastes like a person just bit into a stick of butter. Custard and pudding have the consistency of Jello and are also quite sweet. The only safe dessert I care for is ice cream. I adore green tea, vanilla and each of the unique flavors like jasmine and cherry blossom.

Funnily enough, I know this is only going to aid me in losing more weight, which I can afford. Thankfully I’m no longer obese, but dropping fifty pounds wouldn't kill me. In fact, it would put me at a solid and healthy weight for the first time in my life.

Having always struggled with my weight and not having been able to squeeze into anything less than a size 20 in more than ten years, this would be a dream come true; a dream I’ve worked hard to achieve. And yet, ironically, I’d still be considered too big to fit into clothes here in Thailand. 

Ah, but there are expert tailors who will happily design the latest fashions for an affordable price so all is not lost.

Details to come as the weight melts off (as it has already begun). 

Today I Made a Friend

Today I made a friend. After a brief discovery that my co-worker and I both studied Italian Literature (I for my concentration in Women’s Studies and her in her undergrad) and had a passion for food, culture, languages, and teaching, we struck up a fast friendship. I’ll call her Rika and she is a colleague of mine at my new position in Bangkok. Not only did she study in America, she traveled to Canterbury to complete a Master's and has since traveled to many countries. We bonded over many things and talked about the difference we wish to make in the world and how we plan to do that. All of this was accomplished over lunch at "9 Cafe" in the Siam Paragon Mall in Central Bangkok, one of the most beautiful establishments I've had a chance to frequent so far.

Prior to our impromptu lunch, she was kind enough to drive me to two potential apartment complexes so that I could look at rooms. The first one called Sky Place, was stunning and showcased beautiful rooms with a lush view of greenery for at least a kilometer but was set too far back on the road for me to worry about catching a taxi into work everyday. I didn't want to spend my money on fare to and from the university. The second place was much more centrally located and offered more of a neighborhood but was designed as a hotel and didn't offer nearly as nice views. In fact, one such room offered a construction site with torn up mud. Moreover, the rent was expensive for what I wouldn't get and they only offered a year contract, so I declined.

The standard in Bangkok are apartment complexes known as residences that offer a clear blue swimming pool, a gym, a car park beneath the establishment and very often, housekeeping once per month. Other places require an upfront rental fee for a refrigerator, TV, and once in a while, a small microwave while many include it in their monthly rental fee. And like any place, location is key. Everyone has different wants, needs and desires. At the top of my list is to find a place that doesn't smell like sewage.

I've received lots of great advice on apartments and locations and have narrowed it down to being as close to Central Bangkok as I can. Having been there twice now in less than a week, it reminds me of a cross between Boston for its history and NYC for it's busyness. Also, to offer a possibly antiquated and stereotyped analogy: the multitude of bicycles in China, are like the plethora of motorbikes in Bangkok. They're just everywhere, but I'm also learning that it's a much more affordable way to get around on one than taking a taxi (which is what I've been doing). Of course what would really help me is to hop on the subway and learn that. However, the subway in Boston is easier to negotiate than the one in Bangkok because it directly connects via intersections whereas the subway stations here are all separate and sort of connect, which is code for exit, walk a little bit and re-enter in a different location. Plus, there are three separate train names and several different lines that twist and turn throughout much of the city. Where I live however, none of the train lines have made it that far. My area is more like the suburbs with horrendous traffic nearly 24/7 and it's dirty, smelly and is going to take some used to.

After looking at both residences, Rika and I hopped back into her bright red Honda Jazz, similar to a Fit in the U.S. and headed downtown. Once there, she pointed out all the major hotels and malls. My head was spinning at the enormity of these shopping centers and how closely connected they were with one another. Then we drove by a police headquarters that wasn’t far from a palace and flashback popped into my mind. I realize this was the exact place my friends and I had jumped out of a taxi thus landing us in that police station, but that’s a story for another time.

Less than ten minutes later we arrived at Siam Paragon, one of the most expensive malls I’ve seen in a long time. We double-parked in the garage beneath and I asked her how people get out of the spaces when they want to leave. She told me that everyone leaves their cars in neutral so that they can be pushed out of the way. That bit of information connected the dots on another situation I had witnessed a few days ago when I watched in shock as some people pushed a car out of their way so they could exit their parking space. I thought this was an isolated incident but it’s quite the norm as parking everywhere is limited. In my mind I tried to imagine people in America pushing a Ford F150 extended cab out of the way. There would be words however, before that ever happened.

After parallel parking, we entered the mall and went up a continuous stream of elevators to enter a circular mall that extended up and branched out five floors. Each floor had it’s own dimension from unstated luxury and wealth: Dolce and Gabana, Fendi, Hermes to clothing: an upscale H&M, Zara, Armani and so on. One floor even boasted an aquarium-like experience and another: electronics of all make and model. The bottom floor hosted an assortment of upscale eateries and the most elegant food court I’ve ever seen. There were also endless streams of people everywhere. It was 4pm and it looked like Christmas. Rika told me that this was nothing compared to once people get out of work, which ranges between 4:30-8pm. Thai’s go to malls after work to walk around, shop and eat dinner so the enormity of the crowd increases tenfold.

Famished, we decided on 9 Café. In America we would say Café 9, but in Thailand, everything is backwards; even the desserts. Imagine ordering a pie apple or an ice cream chocolate. No wonder learning English is difficult as the nouns precede the adjectives. It adds to my mental list of everything that is opposite for me in this country.

We both ordered similar dishes that were appropriately sized and would be considered adequately small by American Standards. My dish included glass noodles with beef and vegetables and was approximately one and a half cups. Rika’s was similar but included seafood. They both came with spicy dipping sauce, which oddly, wasn’t all that spicy for me. I also ordered a blueberry yogurt smoothie and realized too late that it was disgustingly sweet and the whipped cream tasted like butter. The blueberries were more like a sugary dessert than a fruit. To conclude our meal, we ordered a shared dessert that included a kind of apple pie custard that lacked a traditional custard taste and reminded me more of a wiggly jello. Something to note is that their puddings and custards are more jello than the whipped up creamy taste I’m used to and also means that I will be crossing them off my list of things to eat. Although I thrive on different, I am being reminded that I’ve never cared much for Asian desserts.

After our late lunch, we walked around the mall. I finally exchanged my remaining American dollars into Baht and we wandered between our favorite stores. At one point I walked through the beauty department and felt like I needed sunglasses for the blindly bright white shiny floors that reflected the opulence around me. There were every type of American, Korean, Japanese and Thai skincare brands around me and I was officially in sensory overload again. However, despite all this, the one thing that continued to surprise me were the abundance of foreigners. When I had last visited Thailand I don’t remember seeing as many people from different countries as I’ve been experiencing since arriving last Wednesday. It’s creating a kind of culture shock for me because it’s so normal here.

Then I had to remind myself that it’s just another mall and I somehow returned to earth and regained my footing in reality.

One of our last stops was entering a bookstore called Kinokuniya that offered titles in both Thai and English and resembled a Barnes and Noble Bookstore from back home. Rika and I meandered through each aisle talking about our love for books, the classics, Shakespearean poetry and teaching English. I could have spent hours there but had to remind myself that we were only browsing. I did however purchase two books for less than five dollars. I bought The Scarlet Letter and Madame Bovary and had them both bound in clear plastic to protect the use I hope to get from them.

We then meandered onto the electronics floor in order for me to be hit with an overwhelming wave of awe. Every known brand of electronics was accentuated with brightly lit graphics above each stand. I learned that for 200-300 Baht I could get my U.S. bought phone unlocked at a store called MBK located on the fourth floor but at that point I was tired and locked it away for another time.

Our last stop was the Gourmet Market where I purchased a Thai Swiffer called Fargent, tissues, raisin bread and dried papaya. The mop included the wet wipes that weren’t very wet and the raisins that tasted more like candy but the bread itself is quite delicious. The papaya will be eaten for breakfast so no word on that yet.

Leaving the mall, I discovered that no one had pushed her car aside and as we drove away, we chatted about what a great day we both had had and that we would have to do it again soon. She then dropped me off on a street corner halfway between our two places and I stood under the metro trying to decide how I would catch a taxi at 9:30 at night in heavy traffic no less. I could have taken the train but was too tired to figure it all out but I was seriously considering it when after a few minutes I was unsuccessful. Finally, I was able to catch a taxi and forty-five minutes later and arriving at the wrong address, my cabby and I were at a standstill. I had given him the address but forgotten to add that my street was more like a road and therefore forgot to say ‘road’ instead of ‘street’, which took an additional ten minutes to figure out through hand gestures and my non-existent Thai. Add another fifteen minutes of horrendous traffic and we were back in my neighborhood of fetid smells.

The drive was so embarrassed by his mistake that he drove me to my door, literally. He stopped a few feet from the entrance and then hopped out of the cab, ran around the car and opened my door, all the while apologizing for the mix up. I was so touched. I waved him off with a smile and a hand gesture that I hoped said, “Don’t worry about it.” He kept apologizing and calling me “Madam” and then only drove off once I was finally able to get inside the doors to the lobby.

I’ve head some horror stories with taxi drivers but thankfully each of my experiences have been positive.

I entered my apartment with a smile on my face and went to bed shortly after.

First Day of Work

There’s always some uncertainty when beginning a new position. The need to make a good first impression and the pressure to do well can be stressful. Oddly, I’ve felt none of those. Of course I did make a good first impression when I met my colleagues for the first time last Friday and I wasn’t nervous, just anxious.

Since Labor Day, I haven’t worked but have spent the time organizing my life to fit into two checked bags and a small carryon bag. That took nearly the entire month of September and then I hopped on a plane and left. Once I arrived in Bangkok, I learned that the semester was ending and didn’t start up again until the end of October, so it’s more waiting.

My first day of work, I had stress dreams that I was going to miss the van and not know how to get to the university. I therefore woke up at 5am, ninety minutes before my alarm. After changing my outfit twice, I agreed on gray dress pants, a deep plum button down top and ballet slipper Crocs. I then paced my apartment and occasionally looked outside for the van. Anxious, I finally called my co-worker who told me the van arrives at 7:45, not the standard 7:30am on off-semester hours. The van arrived late but we still managed to get on campus by 8:05 because there was surprisingly very little traffic.

Something I am learning very quickly: there is always traffic in Bangkok and it’s especially maddening during rush hour, but for some reason, that morning, there was very little.

Once on campus I was informed that the curriculum-planning meeting wasn’t set to begin until 10am, which mean I had two hours to kill. Once people started coming in I was introduced to every single person at the university and then given a tour of the campus.

By 10am teachers started to drift in and the meeting commenced in a conference room. For the next five hours I listened, a lot and then did even more listening and added the occasional nod of my head in agreement or a comment. I learned much but it was still exhausting nonetheless. Noon is considered lunchtime but after a ten minute discussion of whether or not we should break, order in, or just plow through, we opted for the third option. By 3pm I didn’t want to think about planning, building syllabi, or matching themes to outside resources. I also hadn’t eaten since 6am.

After the meeting concluded, I continued to receive an informal education on what to “expect” in my job, what is said and unsaid and to give Thailand six to twelve months before forming an opinion on whether I love it or hate it. Apparently everyone I’ve spoken to has said the same thing. Thailand will either grow on me, or at the end of the contract I will be dying to get out of the country.

The culture for sure is different than what I’ve experienced so far in Asia as each country has it’s own quirks, frustrations and challenges, but that’s what happens when people live elsewhere and that’s also part of the fun. I’m logging that away for a rainy day and will have to see what I think six months from now.

Sky Train & Subway Map of Bangkok

I live off of Ramkhamhaeng near Hua Mark and the university I teach for is about 15 minutes from where I live near the Suvarnabhumi International Airport. If you are unable to view the map, click on the following link. http://www.transitbangkok.com/images/BTS_MRT_Chao_Phraya_Express_Khlong_Boat_BRT.png

 

Things That Are Different

1.     Apartments are built for utility not convenience. The average size of a studio is 27 square meters. My apartment is 38sqm and sits on a corner so I have a bit more space. It’s designed like a studio.

2.     My apartment comes with the following: a queen-sized platform style bed, raised wardrobe built into the wall, television stand, rented flat screen TV (brand new), 4-foot tall silver fridge with built-in freezer and two ice trays, two trashcans, two drinking glasses, bed linens and a blanket and two bath towels.

3.     After the month of October, I will not have a TV, bed linens or blanket, or two towels because I don’t want to pay for the monthly housekeeping services. Plus, I don’t watch television.

4.     Larger apartments include a king-sized bed and western styles often include a divider, wall and door making it a 1-bedroom.

5.     There are no kitchens in a traditional Thai-style apartment.

6.     My fridge and television are rented and are in the same room as my bed.

7.     I have no microwave, oven, or stove.

8.     Ovens are not traditionally used in Thailand, although I’m told some are included or can be bought in western-style apartments.

9.     The bathroom sink has one faucet that produces room temperature water. This never waivers.

10.  The shower includes a heater that needs to be cranked on before the knob is turned to release the water. The water pressure is decent.

11.  There is a small glass wall separating the shower from the rest of the bathroom.

12.  There are no bathtubs in a traditional Thai-style apartment.

13.  Toilet tissue should never be flushed. There is a trashcan for the paper.

14.  I have to step down into the bathroom and down into the shower area. I also need to step down into the hallway when leaving my apartment.

15.  People drive on the left.

16.  Families ride their mopeds and motorcycles with their toddlers in front, no helmets.

17.  People negotiate pay to sit in the back of pickup trucks as a means of transportation. I’ve seen these people hanging out in the back as the truck drives along the expressway.

18.  Food stalls are everywhere and food is cheap. Food poisoning is also a possibility so care should be taken.

19.  Foreigners are everywhere and it’s odd for me to see so many strolling along the street.

20.  Stray dogs wander the street and are collared and fed by the locals.

21.  When getting into a taxi, one must always ask for the meter so as not to be charged too much later on.

22.  It is important to stand your ground when a taxi driver doesn’t want to give you your change.

23.  Say a prayer before hopping on the back of a motorcycle as a cheaper way of transit.

24.  Use common sense, have an open mind, exude patience and learn from the people around you.

Welcome to Bangkok

“Welcome to Bangkok” has been used as a form of congratulations, jocularity and sarcasm as depicted via the situations I’ve experienced over the last two days, or rather the first two days of my stay in Thailand.

The first official welcome that I received was via the Captain announcing our flight’s arrival in Bangkok and thanking us for flying Cathay Airlines. The next time it was said was from my contact who recognized me from a photo she had been shown prior to my arrival at the Suvarnabhumi International Airport.

Arriving in Bangkok produced a drawn out sigh as I could finally rest assured that I had arrived. Prior to arrival however, I had connected three times: once from Boston to JFK, then from JFK to Hong Kong and finally from Hong Kong to Bangkok. I had spent sixteen hours of my two-day travel on a flight with over a dozen small children. It was packed to say the least and I was glad that it was finally over.

The first thing I did was brush my teeth, change my clothes and freshen up before going through security and buying a java chip frappuccino at Starbucks. I had been craving something cold as I had spent the last twenty-four hours drinking room temperature water and juice. When I arrived in Bangkok, I had only slept about six hours in two days and was feeling the results of that. A dull headache had begun to persist behind my eyes from lack of sleep and dehydration.

Amazingly, I breezed through immigration and even more surprisingly, my luggage appeared after only ten minutes of waiting. I then walked out the doors and into the bustling terminal. Less than ten minutes later, I was recognized by Miss Pair, an assistant from the university, sent to pick me up. “Welcome to Thailand,” she said with a winning smile. She was surprised that I only had two main pieces of luggage and a small carry on. The last time I moved abroad, I had five pieces.

After my bags were loaded into a deep gray Honda Accord, we sped off and a few minutes later I was speaking with the director of the Language English Program (LEP) on his assistant’s iPhone. He said, “Welcome to Bangkok. What do you think so far?” I said, “I’m so excited to be here. I can’t believe this is real” to which he told me to enjoy the next few hours as those are always the best.

Twenty minutes later, the Accord was winding through narrow side streets on the left side of the road that barely looked passable before riding up on a steep sidewalk and stopping. Unlike in America, Thai’s drive on the left, which is a hard idea to accept when two cars from opposite directions are speeding towards one another and at the last moment, one of them swerves to the right. Had I been more awake, this would have scared the crap out of me.

In an over-tired state however, I just cared about getting connected to the outside world. In turn, when I stepped out of the car and entered a small 7-Eleven I purchased a sim card and Thai phone number. Miss Pair had originally asked me to pick a number, which I found amusing, as I didn’t care, so I had her choose. A few minutes later it was discovered that my Metro PCS Huawei phone was locked and rejected the sim card. Frustrated, I still paid for the card with the resolve that I would try to get my phone unlocked and even topped off the phone with a 100 baht. At the same time I fought rising panic that I wouldn’t have a way to get in contact with anyone in the city.

When I had first moved to South Korea in 2007, it took me two weeks before a kind teacher gifted me an extra cell phone and put me on her friend’s cell phone plan so I wouldn’t have to pay as I went. I simply had to pay her friend at the end of each month by transferring money from my account into hers. The sharing of bank account information between people was unlike anything I had or have experienced since.

Ten minutes later, we arrived at my new residence. I shouldn’t have been surprised that the building I was staying in was not the one viewed on the website, but I was. It was located directly across from the new building and my apartment was on the corner of the third floor, facing a divide between the two residences. It was at this point that I was introduced to a fellow ex-pat and colleague who had recently moved into the newer of the two buildings. He welcomed me to Bangkok and then offered to show me anything I needed and take me shopping for the essentials like toilet paper and food. I was grateful to have such a smooth transition.

After parting ways with the assistant and getting my bags into my apartment that was surprisingly more spacious than I expected, I insisted that my colleague show me where to buy everything. At this point my headache had disappeared but I was definitely on sensory overload and way past the point of exhaustion. Even still, I insisted on going out. I was determined to buy the essentials, before crashing.

My apartment building in Bangkapi, Bangkok

Standard all utility corner studio: 38sqm

Over the course of the next two hours, I took a taxi ride to a mall up the road and purchased a cheap Nokia cell phone with pay-as-you-go minutes, toilet paper, a laundry basket, two sets of utensils that included a spoon and fork, laundry detergent, four gallons of water, a chicken sandwich and three mini pastries. Another taxi ride back and I was thanking my new friend for all his help. As we parted ways, he said with a smile, “Welcome to Bangkok.”

A few bites into my chicken sandwich and I realized the rubbery taste was cartilage and part of a foot and the mayo was too sweet for my taste. I ate it anyway because I was hungry. I also ate the pastries that I thought were pistachio and turned out to be a very tart lime and were also very sweet.

Two hours later I had unpacked one bag of clothes and was beginning to feel sick from lack of sleep. I hopped in the shower and then laid down to test out the bed. As soon as I hit the pillow, I smiled and breathed, “Welcome to Bangkok” and then conked out.

Bittersweet Beginnings

When students tell me that they are excited to go home and see their families but are also sad to leave Boston, I tell them the word they’re looking for is “bittersweet”. It always feels that way once someone has built roots in a single place and then up and moves away or in the case of my students, moves back to their country or on to another country.

This is how I felt when embarking on my new adventure. Since returning from South Korea in 2008, I felt as though I belonged overseas but I gave it my best effort and remained within the United States. I felt as though I owed it to my family and friends to try and stay put within my country and make my life there. Several members of my family had even made it clear that they hoped I had gotten this adventure ‘out of my system’ and that I was now ready to stay home and build my life. At 28 years old at the time, that statement infuriated me. It still does. I don’t believe anyone should get traveling or new adventures ‘out of their system’ because meeting new people and cultures is what opens our minds and expands our way of how we see ourselves and the people within the world.

For several of my friends, it was a slow and tedious process picking up where we had left off. Many of them didn’t understand my life choices and couldn’t fathom why I would want to leave this beautiful and wondrous country. In fact, I would begin sharing stories about living abroad and after a minute or two, I would see their eyes start to glaze over and the interest begin to wane before they would change the subject. It took me a long time to realize that they couldn’t comprehend what I had experienced because they had nothing to compare it to. Sure it seemed fascinating to try a new food, or figure out how to give directions to a taxi driver in another language, but when it came right down to it, the idea was better on television than it was in reality. Plus, no matter how much I talked about what I had done, they couldn’t understand it because it was too different from what they knew.

Not wanting to give up the dream of moving back abroad however, I looked at positions overseas and even accepted a position to teach at a prestigious British school in China, but at the last minute turned it down due to pressure to stay within the United States. I could not fully blame my decision on my family as much of the pressure came from myself. I felt guilty at leaving my family again and trying to make a new life abroad in another country. I also felt guilty at leaving my friends behind and wondered what would happen to my friendships if I did indeed leave the country once again. The contract had been for two years and having turned it down, I burnt that bridge. I had never burned a contact before and felt worse about that than I did about my decision to turn it down. It has bothered me ever since.

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As drive and fate would have it, I stayed within the world of English as a Second Language (ESL) and had the privilege to teach high school, university and working professionals. Being surrounded by different languages and cultures helped maintain my sanity. Even though I was living within the U.S., I was working with an international population on a daily basis. Eventually, I moved into Boston from Northborough and was able to further surround myself with this diverse culture and plethora of activities that I had grown to enjoy. In the process of improving my craft as an educator, I was coming to the realization that this was the path I wanted to maintain. I was a career ESL teacher within the adult education and university milieu and I wanted to stay there. Of course I would keep the idea of teaching high school on the backburner in the case that this path didn’t work out, but I was finally discovering my niche. I was also making a new group of friends; people who had also taught and traveled the world. From these people, I met others who I later helped obtain positions within language schools around the city. I had an amazing apartment in a house just north of Boston and had even reconnected with friends from my past. I was finally enjoying my life and putting down roots; it just took five years.

I was also beginning to shop at local farmer’s markets and stores that sold products bought from fairly traded locations around the world. I was eating healthier, walking more and ridding myself of negative past relationships and obstacles in my life. After it was all said and done, I was happier, but I still longed to travel abroad. Plus, for those who knew me, I couldn’t stop talking about all the places I wanted to visit.

Just for kicks, a close male friend and I had begun applying to jobs abroad. The original idea was for both of us to obtain positions within the same school. We were both excited at the prospect of moving together as we not only would be traveling with someone we knew but we would be enjoying all sorts of new adventures together. This however, eventually fell apart when I was offered a position with a university in Thailand and he was not. It was a serious blow to our plans. Ultimately however, I think his direction to pursue his love of writing, was the best course of action. I strongly believe that not long from now, I will walk into a bookstore and be able to pick up a collection of short stories, written by him.

In the meantime however, I had to make a decision about this new offer to teach in Thailand. I prayed about it and after some time, knew it was the right decision. God wanted me to move abroad.

The downright reality however, was much more difficult, as I had spent the last five years establishing my life in Boston. It was bittersweet knowing that I was finally pursuing my dream to live abroad again but was also sad that I was leaving everything and everyone I knew, behind. In essence, it was bittersweet.

However, knowing that there is social media such as Facebook and Skype, I reminded myself that I could still connect with people; it would just be via a computer or phone screen. I also felt confident that this time I wouldn’t lose touch with my friends because those I had met also shared my love for travel and adventure and knew exactly where I was coming from. Therefore, it wasn’t a bittersweet ending; it’s a new beginning.   

The Road Less Traveled

The road less traveled is the path I often take when faced with life changing decisions. Why do I do this? Because it's worked that way since I graduated from high school. For example, when many of my friends were going to top schools around the country because they offered stellar programs, I chose a school based on a photo I had seen of a lake surrounded by breathtaking fall foliage. In retrospect, I should have looked more closely at the program. In turn, one bad freshman year later, I transferred to a school closer to home that ended up being the best years of my college career. 

I graduated with a Bachelor's degree in English Literature and a newly created concentration in Women's Studies. What I didn't finish with was my minor in education to teach high school because I became frustrated at not being able to pass the subject area test, and the chair of the department wouldn't let me into a core class that came around once a year. Not wanting to wait an entire year to take the class again, I dropped the minor, and so began a meandering path that slowly wound it's way back to square one twelve years later. 

Having begun my career as a special education assistant in a public school, I eventually transitioned into a teacher role at a residential school. I had the privilege of teaching kids who came from an assortment of backgrounds and had an equally colorful package of issues surrounding how they learned, dealt with feelings and emotions, and had a team to help them with all of these challenges. It was a learning a experience to say the least. Less than a year later, I accepted that this wasn't my niche and quit. From this experience however, I learned how to communicate really well, manage a classroom and how to adapt my teaching style to a variety of needs and levels. 

Jump forward a few years, I discovered that I was less than thrilled with the stream of jobs I had had and the direction my life was going. I re-entered school for my Master's with the idea that I would change careers. When I announced to my family that I was going to earn an MBA, some laughed, other's sighed and my father tried to convince me to stick with education. He repeatedly reiterated how cutthroat MBA programs were and how math had never been my strong suit. Not wanting to acknowledge this second truth, I persisted. More hard work than can acutely be explained here, plus lots of help and patience from my engineer father, I had somehow survived a summer of Accounting I & II, Finance I & II and Statistics. By no means did I sail through. It was more like a crawl and then I kissed the ground when I had passed. Oh and might I add that I worked full time at the school I was also attending. I did this because I was able to take classes for free as long as I earned a "B" or higher and my father had also worked full time while going to school, except that he had a wife and two children. 

Once finished with my degree, I continued working in admissions for the University of Phoenix, until I was laid off. Up until this point, I had taken the road that had overgrown with weeds that no one even bothered with because it was so broken. That's how I felt inside: broken. I wanted to make a change. I wanted to go back to my roots in education and re-enter the classroom because I was convinced that's where my calling laid. I just didn't know how to make that happen. 

Then one day, it was suggested to me that I ponder the idea of teaching abroad. I had always wanted to travel but never had an idea about how to teach abroad. So began my in-depth research, which I now realize, didn't need to be all that detailed, and yet it was. 

A few short months later, I had signed a contract with a public school in South Korea and I boldly announced that I would be moving. My mother just looked at me and my father said, "You are 100% not moving out of the country." Huh. I had pictured that conversation going in a much different direction. For the sake of this entry, let me add that I was 27 years old at the time. Although I had never actually traveled abroad because I didn't even own a passport, I was determined. I was also crushed that my parents, especially my father, didn't share my sentiments. He, who has traveled to more than 80 countries, did not want his daughters traveling abroad, although we both have. 

Something to note: my family is very tight-knit and for that I'm thankful. We all know what is going on in each other's lives and we often connect via the phone or email several times a week. That stated, certain family members are more opinionated than others. Moreover, all the women in my family are especially strong-willed and always make their opinions heard, oh, and they do not enjoy being told what to do, which I have always found ironic. 

Having overcome these opinions however, I persisted and the 2007-2008 academic school year in South Korea was life changing. While abroad, I visited Japan about a dozen times, Thailand and Cambodia. At one point I even remember remarking how I could live in Thailand. It felt like home. 

That year was a game changer for me. I loved it so much that I returned in the fall of 2008 to visit a good friend I had met when I was there. I was then later hired by ASC English in Boston and FLS and later by Kaplan at Northeastern University, thus opening up the chance to work for NEU, which I did. 

My unique education and business background has afforded me opportunities I would not have had, had I earned my teacher's license. Although I'd still like to earn it for the sake of finally having it, I'm enjoying my new path, which is no longer covered with weeds. I'm fulfilled because my students have made my experiences worthwhile. 

Knowing that many good things have come out of these experiences I plan to blog about the new chapter that's about the begin in my life. Starting Monday, September 23, 2013, I will begin my journey to Bangkok, Thailand where I have been hired to teach English and business at an international university. Here's hoping that I will have as much success there as I have in Boston.  

Thanks for reading.

JA

P.S. Not all entries will be this long, but then again, I can't predict what will happen. If you'd like to follow along, that would be fantastic. Please feel free to comment, share your own travel experiences and ask any questions that you may have.